(Excuse me for talking about my husband again. I'm basically obsessed with him)
My husband and I often get told that we are a very "cute" couple, even though we're not particularly affectionate in public. It seems to be based on what we look like. Just yesterday, someone mentioned it again, and he and I happened to be dressed very similarly. We had just come from the gym and were wearing black t-shirts with lettering, black exercise pants, Birkenstocks, and Fitbits. This was just a weird coincidence, but I began to wonder if people see couples who look like they "match" and automatically think that is a good pairing. I wonder if people are automatically rating the attractiveness of each person, and if the numbers match according to their perceptions, then the pairing makes sense, and is easy to digest and look at favorably.
In the video from The Science of Sex Appeal it shows how people do this when they are trying to find partners/mates. In the real world it certainly doesn't occur so consciously, but people are aware of who's "out of their league" or when they think they could do better. I don't remember having this specific thought process, but I can admit to being shallow enough that I wouldn't have pursued my husband if I hadn't thought he was attractive, and I probably would have been intimidated if I thought he was out of my league. Based on the concepts presented in the video and lecture, I think we are relatively well-matched in many different aspects. It's something I take comfort in, and it's one of the reasons I never like to be over- or under-dressed compared to my husband. I don't like the mismatch.
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I think this makes sense. People naturally seek out mates who have similar interests, attitudes, values, and sex appeals. It makes us feel comfortable around them. When we are comfortable around our mates, we are more happy and probably project those feelings to others, which makes others comment on how cute a couple is.
ReplyDeleteIf we are with someone who we don't feel particularly comfortable with, we probably act awkward and maybe even angry. Which, would not be a cute couple.
I like that you brought up how you may have never pursued your husband if you thought he was out of your league. I met my current boyfriend at college three years before we started dating and thought he was unbelievably adorable but he was shy and often gave off the presence that he didn't want people around. I admit that I felt that he was out of my league then and I almost never spoke to him after I moved to Stockton. Eventually, we reconnected and by some miracle he asked me out and we've been together ever since. Had he never said anything, I probably would have never had the courage to tell him I liked him.
ReplyDeleteBefore him, I had times where I would always question to myself whether I was just being too picky because I couldn't find a connection with a lot of people I went on random dates with. I feel as though that little spark of interest plays a key role but even looks do as well. (as sad as that is to admit nowadays). But I do believe that if you find yourself comfortable with someone you truly enjoy, that can play a part in attraction as well. How couples interact with one another can say a lot about the relationship to a total stranger even. So it is likely that you and your hubby appeared relatively content after working out, to a passerby. Positive interacting couples may be seen as cute whereas couples that are angry and arguing seem troubled, and discontent with each other.