Sunday, July 27, 2014
Attraction
Attraction seems to be one of those things we all ask ourselves what do we do with this. I say that with the fact that all the marriages and relationships we see around us, and what is acceptable is changing rapidly in our society. Things that today are seen as normal 50 years ago were never talked about or thought of. Divorce rates are on the rise and there are so many broken relationships around us which were once whole. What is the explanation for this? There at one time had to be some sort of attraction for the relationship to start. I seem to wonder how such relationships did not turn out to be as successful as they were brought forth. We all desire certain aspects from a mate that make us feel good and wanted. Over the course of time do our desires in that change, or were they ever there in the first place.
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I think we as people can make our relationships change such as the things we expect from our partner, at the beginning it may just be simple things, as the relationship gets stronger and time goes by those expectations may change. I believe that people should stay together for the same reason they even started dating, what attracted them to one another? You cannot really expect many things from people when you are getting to know them, again as time goes you learn from that person as much as they learn from you and know what you expect whether they do it or not thats really on them, that may be one of the reason why people do not stay together "because they did not think it would turn out so different from what they expect it".
ReplyDeleteAs humans we are constantly adapting. Every day we are different from the day before and it is something that we cannot stop. I too find it fascinating that someone who has given a lot of their lives to another person can one day just throw it away and end something so easily. Breakups are interesting because in such a quick instance the person that you talked to everyday, saw constantly, and knew much about is gone. It is truly remarkable and attraction plays a big role.
ReplyDeleteSandy and Eliot, not only do I share similar feelings/opinions about relationships, but your comments also dredged up something that I think of from time to time. A few years ago, in a developmental psychology class, we once explored the timeline of the development personality and the human brain; we concluded that aside from extreme circumstances (brain trauma, life -altering experiences) one's brain is not fully developed until approximately age 30 and that shifts in personality and views are likely to occur more frequently between ages 20 and 30. My professor mused that it is probably inadvisable to marry anyone before either one of you are at least 30-years-old. The concept of choosing a mate before you or they have fully developed into the person that they are meant to be can provide yet another obstacle in not only selecting a mate, but establishing a bond they may not be as susceptible to obstacles that could result in the end of a relationship. There are, of course, those who are lucky enough (or perhaps they've used the Mate-Value criteria) to find someone who can grow and adapt with each other and solidify their bonds.
ReplyDeleteexplored the timeline of the development of personality and the human brain* (2nd line)
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